Pre-Valentine's drama..

Valentine’s day is coming again and no one to celebrate it with. Hehehe. Well, I have my family to celebrate it, what I meant was a special someone. I don’t miss being in a relationship, I still want to be single for a couple of months maybe. But I fear if I don’t make a move while she still has this undeveloped love for me, maybe it will be gone forever or worst, she might find a guy in whose comfort she’s more comfortable with. I know  I have many flaws, that’s why I’m a bit insecure, specially because she is a very beautiful girl and I know a lot of guys would like her, even if she’s small. Heheheh. I used to think that I’m the only one who will have a crush on her, but now, I’ve realized that I was wrong. You see, she has been the girl of my dreams since I went into college, and for all those times I only wanted her to like me too, even if it’s just a little bit. I always want to be with her, I want to feel how to be loved by her, that’s why I did everything I could to get her attention, but I failed. I didn’t get a single chance out of her. You know what? It was so frustrating, knowing that you gave your best and she still won’t give any attention to you. Hahaha! I was so frustrated that I tried to direct my feelings to another person and it worked. But only for a short while, I realized that I’ve never really fall out of love with her in the first place. I only kept denying it to myself and suddenly I can’t keep it anymore and on a perfect timing, all the feeling that I have kept from her during the past years have been blown out of my mouth and on that moment I knew within myself that I really can’t get over her unless I won’t be able to see her for a really long time. Because, every time I take a look at her even just for a second, I always imagined myself being with her, not by just only being her friend, but I want her to love me. Do you know the feeling when she smiles at me or talk to me? Damn! I think I’m the happiest person on that moment. She made me realized that love is really worth waiting for. I know you’re thinking that I’m obsessed with her. But I’ll tell you this, you don’t love a person when you don’t think of him/her the way that I do. I don’t expect you people that will read this to believe me coz’ I’ve disappointed many people because of my sudden change in my relationship status, but I care less about them coz’ I don’t like them. I’m just focusing now on how to get the girl of my dreams come to realize that I’m worthy of her love. I hope this coming Valentine’s day, there would be a miracle. I think I’ve wished for too much, but I just really want to be with her even for a short period of time. I hope my plans go well. Wish me luck.. :)