i know that i really have that tendency to be insensitive most of the time, especially, in times when i'm not in the mood to have an argument or just too tired to discuss something. its really my nature, i don't know if i can still change it 'cause i grew up that way. i get used to the life that i get what i want and when i failed to get it, i act like a child and release a behavior that will annoy someone in order for me to have that some sort of revenge because he/she didn't give what i want. just like on being in an argument, when i'm not in the mood to give in, i really won't. i believed what i want to believe, and sometimes, when i'm having a fight, even if i'm the one to blame with, i don't admit it, at least to myself. so the result would be a bigger fight and me hurting someone who really matters to me. i really want to get rid of this attitude, but i think it's because of my ENORMOUS PRIDE that i tend to ignore people's feelings. i know that time would come when the people around me will get tired of my attitude, but before that time comes, i believe that i'm already mature enough to say sorry and to admit to myself those faults that i've done. i'm sorry.. especially to the girl who released her tears because of my insensitiveness. 

People do crazy, stupid things when they're scared; so please understand me when i act crazy or stupid sometimes, i'm just scared.. SCARED OF LOSING YOU, JHOANNA!! :)

nothing is sweeter than the togetherness we share :'>

this september was full of happiness, i guess for my romantic life. well, it's the only thing i want to think about. of course, when you're in love, you only want to think about the memories, things, and the girl that makes you happy. so don't be surprise that my blogs are almost all about her and "us" even if an us doesn't still exist..well, i'm hoping and praying that we'll get there soon..

the best way to start the month is to be with the girl who holds your heart.. <3 last september 1-2 was one of the greatest day of this year, for me..well, no need to elaborate..

there are just some things that you can't resist, and when you try harder to resist it, you just end up doing it and wanting it more..last september 2, we had our first breakfast together.. :')

i also remember last september 10-11, when we held a mini party at our house, though only few make it, because of their lame excuses..jhoanna came and of course i was really happy, but what somewhat i felt lonely, 'cause i still can't introduced her to my family as my girlfriend..well, it'll come someday, i don't want think about when, it just gets me more excited and more impatient..some of the best happenings in life are the ones that are left unplanned.. :) like the fact that she stayed up to 8pm in our house because of her headache, so we had more time to together.. :)

just this sunday, we had church together..it's been a long time since we had church together, 'cause it was always cancelled due to the evil rain..then i brought my camera, 'cause i thought that we haven't got any pictures for this month together even if there had been so much happenings..i can't explain my happiness when i'm with her with just a smile.. :)

even if we see each other almost everyday, i'm glad that we don't get tired of missing each other..even if i tell her sometimes that she's not a good kisser, i'm so glad that she still kiss me..even if i think i'm already full of sweat, i'm glad that still holds and hugs me..and even if we're not still in a relationship, i'm so glad that our love doesn't fade, instead it just get stronger by each passing day..

i believe in what pastor paulo said: "god knows what you want, even before you ask of it" and god will give it to you, when the time he thinks you're ready.. :)

i absofuckinglutely love this girl.. :') (sorry for the term) :)))

when i miss you, i can't stop looking at the sky, i can't stop thinking about you, i cant stop listening to stupid love songs that remind me of you..also, i can't stop thinking what am i to you..

some things you wish to never change

i really don't know how to start this, i just became inspired to make one because of the post of this girl.

so, let's start.. :)

this school year have become very special to me. it's not because i'm already 4th year and about to graduate. i think it's because there's this part of me that's been completed, there's this big change in my everyday life in school, a change that i want to stay forever.

when the first day of school started, i've noticed that she and i have difficulty talking to each other, maybe, 'cause we're just measuring each other, or waiting who will make the 1st move or we're still not used to being sweet, but as days go by, our shyness starts to evaporate. for me, after just a few days and i'm ready to show my feelings for her even in front of other people. but i don't know for her. you know, she is one of the "pakipot" type of girls, which i think adds to fact why i'm crazily in love with her.

speaking of "pakipot" i remembered last june 24, i think it's our first sundate after the school started. we ate at mexicali and i gave her a letter, which says something about good night kiss. i don't know if she was affected by the letter, but that time when we're about to part ways, she just gave me a good night/good bye kiss, she even said "i love you" in person, which before, only happens once in a blue moon. (happens a lot when she's drunk) :P

i think i can't say anymore about june, beside the fact that it was perfect. she started giving me sweets in the morning with short letters on them, then ask me to eat it in front of her. i just don't show how happy i am when she does that, 'cause even i can't explain them in action nor words. :)

then july came, for me, the best part of july was our trip to calaruega. i didn't tell her this, but i insisted her to that i would bring a car because i want us to be alone for the whole trip. so, i'm the only one she'll talk to..hahaha!! i'm a little bit selfish, but just that time. we explore the beautiful surroundings of calaruega and end up tired and hungry, so, we went to tagaytay's famous mushroom burger shop, i don't know why it's so famous for its burger, 'cause i think the canton tasted better. but it's fine, to experience it with the girl you love is the most delicious memory. after we ate i went to a some sort of fishing well and she saw me wish on it. i didn't tell her my wished 'cause i think she already knew what it is. but i think she doesn't know that i wished for two things. hahaha (even though, i only threw one peso coin), the first one is of course my most awaited "yes" and the second one is that our mutual feelings never come to an end.

of course it's not only the trip to calaruega that made july special. it's our first time to pancake house..hmmm..the delicious pancakes..(now that i mentioned it, i'm craving for some) and who could forget the most shocking movie i've ever watched, "Magic Mike" hahaha!! it's my first time to watch a movie like that, even in my wildest dream, i've never imagined myself watching something like it. then she started comparing me to channing tatum and telling me that i'm more handsome than him. of course i don't believe it, but every time she said something like that and i'm with her, i can't help not smile and think that i'm the most handsome guy 'cause i have her. i hate to admit it, but she always makes me feel that way, and i forget my insecurities when she tells me that.

and of course, when you have happy days, you also have a not so happy day. i think it's our first time this july to have a sulk to each other. the moment i realized my mistake, i was scared that her feelings would change but thank god it didn't. i remember after our so called "tampuhan" and we're in the bus, she put her earphones on and didn't want to talk me, of course i felt a little bit embarassed, 'cause i felt that i was not worth to talk with, but good thing she removed it and talked to me and i realized that even if i'm seeing her, i can still miss her when she won't talk to me.

after july, here comes august, her birth month. in this month, she first experienced to walk in a chest deep flood (for her, but for me, it's only waist deep), i don't know if it's sweet 'cause i think i can last a couple of hours walking in a flood as long as she's the with me or maybe because it's just our first time, that's why i kinda enjoyed it. hahaha!! weird.. :P
well, that's all i can say for now.. we're still in the middle of august, there are a lot of things that can happen. hopefully good things.

even though sometimes, you're cold, you're not in the mood, even though you make faces like this :P

i still love you with all my heart, you're the only one who's always on my mind, be it in the morning, afternoon or evening..you give my life a new meaning.. i love you so much.. :*

Time, when we're together isn't ever quite enough

another beautiful sundate with the girl i love.. :')

so tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love? <3

A date that's worth the wait.. :D

it's not the first time we go out together, it's just that, i think it's kinda special, 'cause we've been planning this date since the first week of may (i think), but because of her sickness, it has been moved and moved. i waited for her to get well to pursue this date, and luckily, we managed to see each other last sunday with all the circumstances. :D i'm also thankful that it didn't rain on that day, so we watch movie together, ate burgers together, go to church together, walk on highstreet together (it was tiring and perspiring though :P), drink at happy lemon together. just a beautiful day with the most beautiful girl, plus a beautiful letter.. :) love it.. <3